Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Horoscope, Schmoroscope

I'm not one who believes in daily horoscopes, however, I am one who believes in the attributes of astrological signs. Mine is Gemini and I'm every bit of a Gemini there is: the good, the bad AND the ugly.
When I was younger, I'd read the "qualities" of my sign and felt absolutely berated, defiled, humiliated and ashamed. Geminis possessed, what I considered, many negative characteristics: indecisive, stubborn (a word used too often to describe me to this day), superficial, gossipy, flighty, two-faced, inconsistent, and cunning. I didn't like being any of those, yet at times throughout my life, I've seen myself clearly be any and all of those things. It took a long time for me to look at the positives of who I am, as a person and as the Gemini I am. My more galant attributes include: adaptable, versatile, lively, witty, good with new ideas and multi-tasking, intellectual (although I'll argue that point!), a quick learner and communcative.

Some people would argue that we all have our good side/bad side but that's not what this is about. This is about truly being divided as a person or being two people at once. It has scared me at times in my adult life and I've silently questioned whether I am bi-polar. People close to me have commented that they're not sure which girl they're going to experience at any given moment. I am not saying that I flip-flop at a rapid pace, but I do have my "moods" that can be quite opposite at times and I suppose that's me just being human. At least I hope so.

I DO love the stellar qualities of my star sign and am trying to make those attributes the ones that people experience more often than not. I want them to work in my favor for my own benefit and for the benefit of those I love, care for, respect, appreciate and work with.

So anyway, back to my schmoroscope for today:
"The Sun is in Aries and the Moon is going into Virgo. There'll be
new assignments to complete over the next few weeks. You'll get
to spend more time at home. Better start making lists."

The timing of this did strike a chord today as I took a step towards working from home. That has been a "want-to-do" since I bailed from the corporate world in *gasp* 2001. Since leaving the workplace, I've been draggin' ass to make anything happen -- and I mean anything. If it didn't involve motorcycling or traveling, I had little to no interest. I've been afraid, nearly paralyzed with fear and anxiety and motorcycling was the only thing in my life that I found freeing. It became my therapy as well as numbing agent. Over the last few years, internal demons bred at an alarming rate and the struggle to move forward became more and more difficult. I am at the point now where it's time to slay those demons so I can continue along a path I've wanted to explore since I was a child. I am going to utilize my skills and love for the written word, which is also a Gemini trait. ;) I AM going to be a freelance writer/editor. For four years my business card has said that's who I am. I am going to become that person. It just took time to realize that I CAN be her.

2 Comments:

Blogger Sharron said...

Good for you! I wish you all the luck.

April 20, 2005 5:15 PM  
Anonymous tania said...

You already are a writer.

April 20, 2005 8:53 PM  

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