Tuesday, November 04, 2003

I'm the Bomb and Someone Loves Me

Sometimes, it's the simplest things people say that can make the difference in your day. Today, for instance, my friend Dana ended a very brief phone conversation by saying, "You know what?" I paused thinking she may revert to that childhood conversation game of making someone say "what" but she didn't. She simply said, "You're the bomb and I love you." How could I not smile and feel special by that? I've noticed lately that I have friends who do say the nicest things. I don't always tell them that they affect me the way they do, but I'm trying. It's not enough that I'm aware of the kind things they say. THEY have to be aware of the kind things they say. I started putting this awareness into action last night when I saw a friend at a bike club meeting I attend. In a phone conversation on Sunday, he ended the conversation by telling me, "It's always nice talking with you." Now, that may have merely been his spin on ending dialog in a manner other than, "Ok, bye" but I don't think so. He meant what he said and it meant a lot to me so I told him so last night. I was smiling inside and out after he'd given that compliment and he needed to know that it was heard. That's a part of effective communication, afterall. We speak, we listen. We talk, we hear. I think more times than not the receiver doesn't provide the giver an acknowledgement that lets the giver know that they've truly been heard. I hear what people say and need to let them know. For years, I've been among the worst at receiving compliments and have had that fact pointed out to me time and time again. I've made a heartfelt attempt to acknowledge those compliments because for some people, giving compliments doesn't come easy. I've learned to accept a person's kind words and not receive them with my normal skepticism. I have learned that people generally say kind things because they mean them and that's it. There's no reading between the lines, there's no ulterior motive, there's no need to fill a pause with words that by default lead to a compliment. They give one because they mean it. My friend Patrick (Yes! You're finally getting a mention here.) has been steadfast in his attempts to get me to accept a compliment. What he doesn't know, because I've never told him, is that the wonderful and complimentary email messages he sends are emails that linger in my inbox for weeks. I keep them for a while to read again and again until the intended message of true kindness and love sink in and penetrate my hard outer shell of resistance.

Thank you my friends for seeing the me that is who she is and for loving me.


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