Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Putting My Hands Where My Money Is

For more years than I care to admit, I've been collecting papercrafting supplies. Most are commonly used in scrapbooking but I'm not a "scrapper". I usually use my supplies for mail art, ATCs, postcards and cards. I live in my head a lot and think about making scrapbook pages. I was an avid scrapbooker when I was a teenager. The book from my senior year is obscenely obese with memorabilia from one of the best years of my life. I suppose there's a number of personal reasons why I don't actually put my thoughts onto paper and savor moments in a tangible form. For the last several years, my photos and recollections have been shared on this blog. As an active, lifelong correspondent, I send most of my thoughts and memories into the world, stuffed in envelopes. Yet, I keep nothing for myself.

My internal editor, that bitch I've mentioned a time or two, constantly questions why? Why would I want to keep scrapbooks? It's a waste of money and an addition of clutter when you consider the simpler life I imagine creating. As a woman who has succumbed to infertility, I have no one to pass my memories on to. I could go on and on with my mental minutia but I'd rather stifle those argumentative points and respond by saying why I'd WANT to keep scrapbooks.

Artist expression.
Mental therapy.
Paper lust.
Typography lust.
Journaling.
Provide a home for my thousands of photographs.

I am trying to let go and let myself create. I've been shut down for ages, closed off, perhaps afraid of what I'd say. I know this has been more of a detriment to myself than anything. It's like a mental poison. I compare my habitual suppression of expression to alcholism. I can somehow find shelter by holding so much in and at times I over do it. I don't want to be that person. I don't want to pre-judge anything that I may say or what I may feel as I say it. I don't want to judge how I say it and I don't want to fear anyone else's reaction.

In order to stop all the don'ts, I need to DO.

I read several blogs by women who are expressing themselves through mixed media, art journals, and scrapbook pages. I don't critique their expressions. Mostly, I embrace their courage to share their experiences, emotions, fears, accomplishments, and goals. I love words so reading what stems from their hearts and minds is what stirs my mojo. Some can show in a photograph what words can not define. It's all quite beautiful and soul stirring.

My soul was recently stirred by Ali Edwards. She suggested creating a mini-book based on Five Fabulous Favorites today. This was what I created by dipping my toes in. I used old photos and mostly older embellishments but the subjects remain as favorites today.
*click photos to enlarge*


Cover

Jeremy & Motorcycle Touring

Sunflowers

Camping & Hiking

Nature & Animals

Sunsets

5 Comments:

Blogger Mim said...

BRAVA! It's absoloootly lovely. I'm applauding you right now, literally, well okay, I stopped to type this. Big hugs from Paris for you.

October 05, 2006 5:09 AM  
Blogger Wildside Musing said...

It is lovely, I agree... You have a gift.

I found myself very much relating to your post.

October 06, 2006 9:07 AM  
Blogger Donna said...

I just stumbled across your blog from Apifera Farm and I find myself a kindred spirit, it seems. "As a woman who has succumbed to infertility, I have no one to pass my memories on to." Yup, that's me too. I don't officially scrapbook, but I am a big one for photo albums full of matchbooks, ticket stubs and scraps of whatever else struck my fancy on that trip. I'll be back.

October 06, 2006 8:41 PM  
Blogger shepherdgirl said...

These are wonderful. Keep doing them. I find the best solution to not making art is just making it.

October 07, 2006 11:58 AM  
Blogger deb said...

I, too am a kindred spirit. Your work is wonderful. Just found your blog and I'll check in again. :)

October 12, 2006 1:05 PM  

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