Sunday, August 06, 2006

Unless There's a Miracle

That's what Gina's primary care physician just told me. "Unless there's a miracle, we're looking at a life expectancy of several weeks to 6 months."

*breathe, Juli, breathe...*

It's daunting to think of such things. It's inevitable but I can't help but feel so overwrought with negativity when I think of my sister and her condition. She's currently fluctuating through incoherency due to the elevated level of amonia in her body and yesterday she didn't know her own daughter.

Her doctor said that nothing was "imminent" at this point and I took that as his polite way of saying I didn't need to rush up there. As it stands, I plan to go "home" in October so I'll keep that time frame for travel.

So what about a miracle? Well, I'll leave that up to those who put a lot of weight into such things. I do believe things can improve and I believe in the power of positive thinking (prayer, for some) and the strength of a person's will. I also believe that people know when they want and can put up a fight. In some cases, it's more comforting to rest and let go. I'm not sure what my sister's thoughts, wishes and wants are but I support her fully in whatever it may be. I told her six years ago that I was more than willing to test my liver's capability for a partial transplant. The ball was in her court at that time. She had to prepare her body (to be eligible she HAD to quit smoking) and obtain the information required to have the testing done. Nothing was done and I fear it's too late now. If this incident encourages her to stay in the fight then I'll surely be on her team and will do what I can to help. She and I will have to have that conversation next week when she's hopefully feeling better and resting at home.


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